Why I go to dances and stand

So… I went to the institute dance tonight. It was pretty fun. I like going to dances… some good music, babewatching, and of course the Travolta (A great line dance that’s hugely popular in my Hunter circle of friends). People always tell me I should go find someone to dance with… here’s why I don’t:

1. It’s awkward. Because 99.9% of the women I’d dance with… won’t be my wife one day. Why take that time? Plus once you ask them it’s awkward figuring out whose hands go where… haha.

2. They don’t wanna waste their time on me either. I’m going on a mission in a few months. Women all seem to want someone who will put a ring on their finger… Man I’m jaded. But it’s true! I’ve tried dating, and they all tell me the same thing… “You need to focus on your mission… I’m looking for someone to spend my life with” BLAH BLAH BLAH. Honestly, I’d rather have a “you’re lame. I don’t want to be seen with you in public”… because after you hear the former a dozen times it gets old.

3. I actually used to never sit out a dance… and look where it got me. Sure, I had fun at those dances, but I have fun without dancing too. And this way I don’t get all sweaty from the stupid Boot Scootin’ B00gie. Gah. Anyway, I’ve come to realize the girls I used to dance with… for the most part were really shallow. It makes me mad, actually.

4. Married people are fun, and there’s no pressure. True story. Who cares if they “like” you, they’re going home with someone else, and you don’t have to worry about what they think so long as everybody has a good time. And, they don’t leave you to go dance with whoever… somebody asks them to dance, and they can just flash their ring. Yay, cop-outs.

5. Competition. I actually think I’m a pretty good dancer… when I want to be. But I don’t really like swing dancing; probably because I was never very good at it. But the dances I enjoy… tango, waltz, cha cha, polka, line… I can go to town. But when girls ask me to swing it feels like a competition and I’m coming in last. I can’t do lifts, and I actually hate trying to. I don’t mind the Charleston type stuff, but I’m not very good at it, so by default the girls pass me over… That actually might not be true, because I’ve refused to swing for a long time now… haha.

6. Studio 600. I fear this place. I don’t know why.


So… that’s it. Don’t judge me too harshly. It’s just a defense mechanism to save myself from pain. Cheers kids.



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